Snake

Guys don't like snakes.

I don't know what it is, but the last few times I have come across snakes, all the guys have freaked out. Then they usually ask why girls like snakes. Of course, not all girls like snakes, so maybe not all guys hate them.

I like snakes. They're kinda neat. I think it's mostly because I don't see them very often, so it was always very cool to actually find one as a kid. It might also be because I only ever come across garter snakes which are harmless and little and kinda cute.

Still doesn't explain why guys don't like them. Like my downstairs roomie and landlord for instance.

This is what just happened:

I hear an obscenity from downstairs, then silence. A couple minutes later I hear the call of distress.

"Hey guys, can you come down here? I really need some help with this! Right now!"

I come downstairs to find Landlord wearing oven mitts and wielding a frying pan with a panicked look on his face. He was also in kind of stance you usually see in nature videos when some creature is trying make itself as large as possible in a last desperate attempt to defend its life.

His voice had an edge of hysteria. "There's a snake in my bag!"

I look down to see a backpack in the middle of the floor with a pile of computer wires beside it.

"I pulled out that bunch of wires, and one of them was a snake! Did you hear me freak out??"

In all fairness to Landlord, that would be extremely surprising. Like something out of a horror movie, or a bad dream - picking up something innocuous and discovering creepy crawlies. Not fun.

But that part was done. The snake was underneath the bag, and now just had to be dealt with.

"I was thinking that if we corral it into this frying pan, I can take it outside. Or maybe I should go get something with a cover, maybe that would be better."

"It it just a regular garter snake? Little guy?"

"Yeah, I think so, but it's under that bag! I don't want it getting away in my house!! If we go from either side, then between us and that wall, it's not going to get anywhere."

"Ok."

"You ready?"

He lifts up the bag.

The snake sits there.

I go pick up the snake.

"OH my gosh."

I go to take it outside.

"Wait, I need to get the camera."

"It's crawling up my sleeve!"

"Yeeeaaaghh! Never mind, I'll get the door."

"No it's ok, I stopped it. They just like dark hidey holes."

"Ok, I'm getting the camera."


Picture is taken. Snake gets put outside. Landlord resumes breathing.

"Oh my gosh...I hate snakes. I have to go call my fiancée now."